Part of the irony of looking at the whole, sad affair that's sprung up around shamed former NYT reporter Jayson Blair is that - by all rights - I shouldn't be in any position to judge him.

So he's a chronic bullshitter? Well, guess what - so am I. I've said as much before, and I'll say as much again. With motes, beams, eyes and all that as a given, I should just shut up and talk about something else, right?

But no - I CAN judge him, and I will.

And I would like to declare that Mr. Jayson Blair is, without a doubt, one of the finest American journalists currently living.

Yes, you read that right. Jayson Blair is my idol. The man is a true genius. A King. A God. A paragon of our tradition. Absolutely, totally brilliant.

His only error - a common one, I'd suspect - is that he made the mistake of trying to do his writing on the front page of the Gray Lady, as opposed to the Op-Ed page, where he belongs. If he hadn't made that fatal mistake, he'd be well in clover right now instead of up the creek without a paddle. And this is a lesson I think we can all learn from.

You see, there is a distinct, natural order to things. I expect to be lied to on the Op-Ed page, not the front page. From the front page I expect facts and some semblance of balance. I expect the five Ws, and maybe an H or two if they've got room for it. I expect to walk away from the reading a little more informed as to what's going on.

I do not, however, expect cockamamie fish stories spun out of one's ass because one is not predisposed towards actually collecting facts.

That's where us folks on the Op-Ed page come into the picture. We might sound tough and imposing, but in reality we're just a fun bunch of overly-creative, bottom-feeding folk who exist off of others' facts, or just make stuff up when no one's looking.

Most of us, anyway - there are a few exceptions to that rule. And some of us actually were front page writers, too, once. These oddities know the drill: the joy of getting it all right all the time; the agony of the fact-checking; the ball-grinding horror of being caught with "facts" that turned out to be rumors, lies or things we just couldn't substantiate but ran anyway!

But in these days of the blogosphere, the internet, the underground journal and the DIY fanzine, we're getting more and more op-ed people whose actual experience with real, true reporting is just not there. They're just a face with a mouth who got famous by being the right mouth at the right time with the right demographic to pay attention.

Okay, so maybe some of them wrote a book. Wow. But any asshole with a literary agent - or without one - can write a book, these days. Just look at Al Franken.

No... we're a scurrilous lot, us magicians. You shouldn't trust any of us. We don't know what we're talking about. We do have a hidden agenda - some of us even have an obvious one.

Which makes it so funny when you consider how many Op-Ed people have been jumping all over poor Mr. Blair for his "betrayal." The only real difference is that the roles have been reversed: now WE know what it's like to have been lied to, and some of us aren't able to see the humor.

You could say that he jumped the chain of command by giving us deliberately incorrect facts to twist and shape around, instead of leaving that to us to handle. The only problem is that we don't have any leaders on this stage - just an understanding of who's got what role. We need people like him to play the role of 'hapless onstage volunteer' to our magician.

And there's nothing more annoying than having a victim suddenly walk out of the back of your Cabinet of Death and pull a rabbit out of your coat pocket while you're reaching for another sword. No, nothing at all.

But I don't look at it as a betrayal. Not hardly. If anything, this was a fumbling and poorly-choreographed attempt to find the 'real world.' Maybe he just didn't know that, beyond the "Snake Pit" he found himself in, there was a whole different level of reality - one where his creative talents could be put to better use. And given how he, unlike so many others of our paid liars' fraternity, was able to fool so many so well for so long, I think his entrance is quite overdue.

So welcome to the Magic Show, Mr. Blair. Take your place on the stage. You've earned it.

Don't ask me - I'm just improvising - my illusion of careless flight - can't you see - my temperature's rising - I radiate more heat than light.

Presto - Rush